Personal Accountability Begins with Me!

How many times have you found yourself asking “Why me?” questions? For many of us, these types of questions crop up on a daily basis. And though the focus of the question seems to be on “me”, it is actually a question asked by a victim, with a focus on external events, people or circumstances. It is a POWERLESS question; one which gives all control of our lives over to those external events, people or circumstances.

The good news is that we have the ability within us all to stop asking questions which make us powerless and support a victim mentality. We do have the ability to ask EMPOWERING questions and to jump back into the driver’s seat of our life. All it takes is a conscious awareness of those “why me?” questions and the knowledge of how to ask empowering questions instead.

So, the first step is to catch yourself asking “why me?” questions. How will you recognize a “why me?” question? The first clue is that the question will usually start with “why” or “how come”. The second clue is that the question has a focus on something that is external, i.e. not you! Some examples include, “Why can’t my boss see that there is a better way to do this?” “How come everyone I encounter is so rude?” “Why am I always the one who gets stuck behind the old lady counting out her pennies to pay for her groceries?” “How come I’m the one who always has to organize getting together with my friends? Why doesn’t someone else take the initiative for a change?”

When you catch yourself (have a conscious awareness of) asking a question that sounds like “why me?”, simply pat yourself on the back for recognizing it. DO NOT beat yourself up over it. Becoming conscious of these questions is the first step and you should be happy with the simple recognition, even without the ability change it right away.

When you find you are becoming very aware of the kinds of circumstances in which you find yourself asking “why me?” questions, then you can target a very common one and start practicing replacing that “why me?” with an empowering question.

An empowering question will usually begin with “what” or “how” and have a strong focus on action and yourself. Some examples include, “What can I do to improve this situation?” “How can I change my approach to achieve a different result?” “How can I help?” When you start asking yourself questions like this and taking action upon the answers, you will see remarkable things happen with how in control and empowered you feel in your day-to-day encounters with the world.

These questions put the accountability squarely to rest on your shoulders. For those of you who are thinking, “I don’t want that burden!”, I would ask you to consider if you want to continue to let others and outside circumstances run your life or whether you would rather have control over the direction of your own life. Asking empowering questions and taking personal accountability is NEVER a burden or a hardship when you consider that it gives you absolute power to choose the direction of your own life.